Quintessence of fear

A question was asked today „how do you feel with only six months left at Owen?” Actually as of today it’s only 147 days till graduation. That’s roughly 4.9 months. Not six. I wish it was six, it would give me another month to find a job of my dreams and not worry that May 22 is the pay the loan day. That is scary. I knew since I started Owen that I would hate May 22 of 2008. Silly, isn’t it? There is a date out there that screams reality check.

But am I really afraid? I don’t think so. I am excited. I love Owen. No, I love being in school, but it’s not the goal of this little enterprise of mine to be in school forever. If it was, I would have applied to all of those nice PhD programs that I was considering. But I miss making money. I miss the joys of not dreading May 22, 2008.

In two days I go to Poland. Ahead of me are three weeks of hard work. Three weeks of research (that’s if I can get away from my family long enough to sit by a computer and actually do it) and, in a way, soul searching. I admit, until now it’s been a bit of testing the waters and seeing what’s out there. But practice is over, it’s time to get out onto the playing field in full force and play the game. Play to win.

So what is May 22? It’s just a reminder of my alternative reality. Nothing more, nothing less.

Song of the day:
David Bowie – This is not America